The past 4-5 years have been especially rough for me. The jerk I'm married to was diagnosed with cancer, and of course, I couldn't file for divorce with him going through that. The girls were still in school, too, so I figured I'd stick it out until they were done. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in June 2005 (just three days before my dear friend, Cristine Batey - aka Baachan - died from the same disease) and passed away from a heart attack in December of that year (the radiation treatment was too much for her). That was the day before Kojika had her orientation at Purdue (she graduated high school in mid-year and started college right away). Well, about six months later my brother-in-law, Gene, passed away (he had AIDS and had spent the past 12+ years dealing with that). Three months later my dad took a major downward turn and passed away. That was September. In November I had a gall bladder attack and after numerous tests and doctor's visits, went in for surgery to remove it in January 2007.

Ed's cancer was in remission, but he found out around the time his brother died that his company was outsourcing his department and he had to the end of the year to find a new job. They extended him until March 2007 and then ended up hiring him (the outsource company - IBM). He worked there until March 2008, when he got himself fired (they found proof that he'd downloaded personal files to his work laptop) and he took two months to find a new job. He started commuting daily to downtown Chicago in May 2008. His cancer came back in July. The chemo was no longer doing any good, and they tried to find a bone marrow donor (even testing all three girls, at which time the nurse who took their blood hit Kojika's nerve and she spent the next six months seeing a neurologist and having physical therapy for her arm). When they couldn't find a match for the bone marrow, they decided to do a stem cell transplant. Oldest daughter, Himeko, had to give herself shots two times a day for a week and then spent over 5 hours on a machine that drew her blood, spun out the stem cells, and returned the rest of the blood to her.

The doctors mixed her stem cells with those from a baby placenta and Ed spent six weeks in the hospital (his blood counts took longer to go up than they had hoped). After that he was able to come home, but not allowed to go back to the office for the next few months. He was able to work half-time from a laptop at home, so it helped, since his disability was only paying 70% of his salary.

The cancer is supposed to be gone now. Himeko and Kojika both graduated from Purdue with Bachelor's degrees in Computer Graphics Technology in May. Shaina graduted from high school in June and I drove her out to Phoenix, Arizona less than a month later for school (she's attending UTI for automotive training for about two years).

It's been stressful and I know that as soon as Himeko and Kojika get full-time jobs and/or move into their own apartments, I'll be filing for divorce. The stress level isn't going to go down anytime soon.

If it had only been the mods here, I would have left a long time ago. But, I have many wonderful friends here who I still want to support, so I'm not going anywhere. It's just a pity that DA isn't what it used to be.

Thanks. Guess I'm just getting my holiday blues and it doesn't help that so many of my DA friends from the past aren't here anymore - or at least have become inactive.

Oh, I won't be leaving. But, I get a bit down this time of year and it really hit me when I was typing my journal entry just how much has changed here since I first joined, and how many of my friends have either left or become inactive here. At least there is more IY fanart again, with the start of the new anime series. And, I've found some new artists who love the series as much as I do, so that's a good thing.